Inspired by Alan Johnson’s very, very bold statement that no-one, absolutely no-one would be better at being PM than Gordon Brown, I thought I’d compile my top 10 list of Potential Prime Ministers that would be better prime ministers just by turning up and doing absolutely nothing at all.
#10: David Cameron
Slippery PR weasel that he is, Cameron possesses a much better ability to communicate his ideas effectively and has managed to stop the Conservative Party banging on about Europe and Immigration.
#9: Nick Clegg
Leader of the Liberal Democrats, Nick Clegg also possesses the ability to communicate effectively, would make an excellent representative for Britain abroad and, having actually met him on a couple of occassions I can personally vouch for him as being someone who could do a better job of being Prime Minister.
#8: Stephen Fry
If Britain were a Republic, Stephen would be our Head of State by now, but failing that Prime Minister would be a suitable job for Britain’s Head Nerd (and most beloved child).
#7: Joanna Lumley
Joanna Lumley’s first explosion into the world of politics has been a rip-roaring success, and showed a genuine personality with real steel and grit. Seriously, why wouldn’t you want Joanne Lumley as Prime Minister?
#6: Keith from The Prodigy
Despite being one the most repulsive characters imaginable, 90′s dance sensation, “Keith” from The Prodigy – you know the one, “I’m the firestarter! Twisted instigator!! blleeaaggghhh!” Keith enjoys significantly more popularity with the key 60-80 year old demographic than Gordon Brown.
#5: Richard Dawkins
A controversial personality, but a man with a proven track record for calling bullshit when he sees it and fearlessness in the face of overwhelming odds. Brain the size of a planet and almost impossible to confuse with verbiage.
#4: Charlotte Gore
Little known outside the world of Lib Dem Blogging, Charlotte Gore would make a better Prime Minister than Gordon Brown. With at least 2 people thinking she’d make a good Prime Minister, that’s 2 more people than think Gordon Brown makes a good Prime Minister. Can’t argue with that.
#3: Donkey From Shrek
Charismatic and much loved by small (untrustworthy) people all over the world, Donkey has many Prime Ministerial qualities including tenacity, courage and an intuitive understanding of emotions and feelings.
#2: This Tramp
An unconventional choice, but this tramp boasts superior depth perception and significantly more stylish hair. Also doesn’t take ‘no shit from no-one.’ Importantly is profoundly in tune with what it means to be outcast from in today’s society, and the horrors of life on the streets.
#1: Lily Allen
Unparalled ability to engage Da Yoof in issues political (cunningly disguised as joyfully catchy pop), Lily Allen has the benefit of the world’s hardest man looking out for her (her Dad, Keith Allen), almost universal popularity and frankly if she sat in Number 10 and did absolutely nothing at all that would make her a more successful Prime Minister than Gordon Brown.
So that’s 10 – off the top of my head, without even thinking about it too much. Alan Johnson: Public Announcement FAIL.
