Inspired by Alan Johnson’s very, very bold statement that no-one, absolutely no-one would be better at being PM than Gordon Brown, I thought I’d compile my top 10 list of Potential Prime Ministers that would be better prime ministers just by turning up and doing absolutely nothing at all.
#10: David Cameron
Slippery PR weasel that he is, Cameron possesses a much better ability to communicate his ideas effectively and has managed to stop the Conservative Party banging on about Europe and Immigration.
#9: Nick Clegg
Leader of the Liberal Democrats, Nick Clegg also possesses the ability to communicate effectively, would make an excellent representative for Britain abroad and, having actually met him on a couple of occassions I can personally vouch for him as being someone who could do a better job of being Prime Minister.
#8: Stephen Fry
If Britain were a Republic, Stephen would be our Head of State by now, but failing that Prime Minister would be a suitable job for Britain’s Head Nerd (and most beloved child).
#7: Joanna Lumley
Joanna Lumley’s first explosion into the world of politics has been a rip-roaring success, and showed a genuine personality with real steel and grit. Seriously, why wouldn’t you want Joanne Lumley as Prime Minister?
#6: Keith from The Prodigy
Despite being one the most repulsive characters imaginable, 90′s dance sensation, “Keith” from The Prodigy – you know the one, “I’m the firestarter! Twisted instigator!! blleeaaggghhh!” Keith enjoys significantly more popularity with the key 60-80 year old demographic than Gordon Brown.
#5: Richard Dawkins
A controversial personality, but a man with a proven track record for calling bullshit when he sees it and fearlessness in the face of overwhelming odds. Brain the size of a planet and almost impossible to confuse with verbiage.
#4: Charlotte Gore
Little known outside the world of Lib Dem Blogging, Charlotte Gore would make a better Prime Minister than Gordon Brown. With at least 2 people thinking she’d make a good Prime Minister, that’s 2 more people than think Gordon Brown makes a good Prime Minister. Can’t argue with that.
#3: Donkey From Shrek
Charismatic and much loved by small (untrustworthy) people all over the world, Donkey has many Prime Ministerial qualities including tenacity, courage and an intuitive understanding of emotions and feelings.
#2: This Tramp
An unconventional choice, but this tramp boasts superior depth perception and significantly more stylish hair. Also doesn’t take ‘no shit from no-one.’ Importantly is profoundly in tune with what it means to be outcast from in today’s society, and the horrors of life on the streets.
#1: Lily Allen
Unparalled ability to engage Da Yoof in issues political (cunningly disguised as joyfully catchy pop), Lily Allen has the benefit of the world’s hardest man looking out for her (her Dad, Keith Allen), almost universal popularity and frankly if she sat in Number 10 and did absolutely nothing at all that would make her a more successful Prime Minister than Gordon Brown.
So that’s 10 – off the top of my head, without even thinking about it too much. Alan Johnson: Public Announcement FAIL.
Stu said...
3 May 09 at 6:11 pm
I’m voting for Donkey.
Sorry, Charlotte, but I just like the idea that he might start singing ‘Try A Little Tenderness’ at a press conference.
Charlotte Gore said...
3 May 09 at 6:15 pm
That’s one vote for Donkey then. Fair enough. Hint, this is an attempt at a meme, btw – are you listening, Jennie Rigg?
Nick said...
3 May 09 at 6:31 pm
I’m wondering just what David Cameron is about to do with that puppy.
Out of that list, I’d go for Fry on the grounds he likely possesses the essential prerequisite for being PM – he doesn’t want the job.
Charlotte Gore said...
3 May 09 at 6:33 pm
Yes indeed
MatGB said...
3 May 09 at 6:56 pm
Jennie’s at t’pub working. Because, y’know, beer festival, lots and lots of really good beers. About ten minutes walk from your house IIRC.
I don’t do memes, I’m too lazy. It does come to something when I find myself, again, agreeing with some of what Blears is saying. That’s wrong, isn’t it? Someone at PB.com thinks Blears is annoyed as she’s one of the few Labour MPs elected in the 90s to have got anywhere career wise.
I’d say it’s because they’re all useless, but I think it’s more likely that it’s nepotism from the top.
DavidNcl said...
3 May 09 at 7:48 pm
The donkeys a commie plant. I knew his KGB controler when he was in the movies.
patently said...
3 May 09 at 7:56 pm
Not the donkey. I’ve heard via email that his wife is mentally unstable.
Andy Hinton said...
3 May 09 at 8:19 pm
I vote Stephen Fry. (resisting the urge to number them, STV style)
Matt Wardman said...
3 May 09 at 10:35 pm
I vote Lisa Simpson since that’s who comes up when I search youtube.com for Charlotte Gore (talking of memes…).
M.
JohnBM said...
3 May 09 at 11:01 pm
Re:Nick Clegg – “having actually met him on a couple of occassions I can personally vouch for him”
Should read “having gone a bit weak kneed and gooey over him on a couple of occasions….”
I was there
Eyes Only said...
3 May 09 at 11:38 pm
What, no Jeremy Clarkeson? :-0
MatGB said...
3 May 09 at 11:44 pm
Eyes Only, a criteria is “turning up and doing nothing”. Do you really think Clarkson could resist meddling? He’d try to make a beef mincer out of a tank or something stupid.
Charlotte Gore said...
4 May 09 at 12:39 am
Matt, you wouldn’t be referring to the video that absolutely doesn’t exist?
BenSix said...
4 May 09 at 1:46 am
In fact, I’ve just deposited a better Prime Minister into a handkerchief…
Eyes Only said...
4 May 09 at 2:54 am
MatGB,
At least I would find politics amusing instead of my wife being convinced I have turret’s syndrome. :-S
Matt Wardman said...
4 May 09 at 9:28 am
My reference is to the Lisa Simpson “I haven’t cleaned the flat because I was out protesting with the guitar I bought” video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjLIyt3S3vA
Is there another one I should know about?
M.
Charlotte Gore said...
4 May 09 at 12:39 pm
There isn’t another video you should know about.
Jennie said...
4 May 09 at 1:09 pm
“Hint, this is an attempt at a meme, btw – are you listening, Jennie Rigg?”
LOL yes, I think so.
TJ said...
4 May 09 at 6:14 pm
if she sat in Number 10 and did absolutely nothing
Well come to think of it that would be a good idea for any prospective Pee-Emm: just sit on their hands for 18 months and resist the urge to meddle in anything.
This would, amongst other things, give the opporunity for the dust to settle on the various reforms of the public sector over the last few years.
Also it’d be interesting to see if a lack of any new legislation or government action on anything would have any material effect on people’s lives. And if not it would turn people on to the idea of a less controlling state.
Martin said...
4 May 09 at 6:56 pm
Woo. I gave it a go.
Clicky-wicky here.
Charlotte Gore said...
4 May 09 at 11:27 pm
First time yes, second time I made him squirm.
MatGB said...
4 May 09 at 11:29 pm
John’s comment got hit by spam trap?
This is true. I was there.
Leon said...
5 May 09 at 1:43 pm
Yeah I think I have to go with Donkey too…
Stu said...
5 May 09 at 7:33 pm
Here’s my effort at a list of ten more: http://tinyurl.com/cbm2r5
Chris Gaynor said...
17 May 09 at 5:46 pm
You seem to have demonstrated the typical political quality of believing you would be a better PM than Gordon. That’s good self publicised arrogance?.
Gordon thought he would make a good PM, and look how it turned out? Turns out now he doesn’t really want the job or is up to it. People that boast about how good they are or how better they might be often turn out to be flops in my experience….
http://www.plenty2say.com
Charlotte Gore said...
18 May 09 at 7:16 pm
Ah well the difference is that a) this is a joke and b) I will never, ever stand for any office ever, full stop, end of stop, no debate, no argument, no nothing – I know my limits and being a professional politician isn’t something I’d ever consider any further even for a minute.