Comments on: Go On, Sell me an ID Card. I Dare You.

By: Charlotte Gore

Charlotte Gore — Thu, 07 May 2009 21:45:37 +0000

You mean they’ve figured out a way of taxing breathing? NEVER!

By: Shaun Pilkington

Shaun Pilkington — Thu, 07 May 2009 21:10:47 +0000

But the finalised sales pitch is a clincher:

“Buy an ID Card from the us for £60 or go to prison”

Y’know. Like Tax. Or the TV License. Or Council Tax. Or any other Tax. Welcome to the Tax on being alive in Britain!

By: Bill Quango MP

Bill Quango MP — Thu, 07 May 2009 20:17:49 +0000

What if the card has expired? How can it no longer be valid? Its still going to be you isn’t it? You won’t have suddenly grown 7 inches or changed your birth year 10 years are you? Why would it expire at all?

By: AJS

AJS — Thu, 07 May 2009 18:48:31 +0000

I will never, ever sign up to the identity card scheme, and I am fully prepared to go to prison for my beliefs.

Frankly, I can’t see much difference between potentially having to show my identity documents on demand at any time, and actually being in prison.

By: Andy

Andy — Thu, 07 May 2009 13:16:31 +0000

What an absolute bargain!

I’ll be dashing out to get one as soon as they become available. What clever people these policicians are!

By: Oranjepan

Oranjepan — Thu, 07 May 2009 11:53:32 +0000

I’ve actually been chased by a helicopter gunship across a mountainous border.

It gets quite exciting when it emerges a hundred yards away, hovers there and spins to point the rocket launchers in your direction.

Then, when you realise you can see the pilot is gesticulating in your direction but can’t work out what they mean it takes on a slightly different complexion.

Obviously looking like Rambo doesn’t help matters.

By: Stephen Glenn

Stephen Glenn — Thu, 07 May 2009 11:41:04 +0000

If I recall Anakin’s powers did not leave him when he turned to the Dark Side though.

By: Niklas Smith

Niklas Smith — Thu, 07 May 2009 11:31:55 +0000

Ah, but Stephen, remember Obi-Wan Kenobi was on the Good Side!

By: Stephen Glenn

Stephen Glenn — Thu, 07 May 2009 10:12:07 +0000

Charlotter I think that surely the only way to do this is to check for those of the Jedi faith from the 2001 census and employ them in the sales team.

Snappy Sales Jedi: Hello.

Me: Hey there. Nice cloak. What do you want?

Snappy Sale Jedi: These are the ID Cards you are looking for.

Me: These are the ID Cards I am looking for.

Snappy Sales Jedi: You’ll be happy to give you biometric data to the Empire’s database. This is too good an offer to miss.

Me: I’d be happy to give my data to the Empire’s database. How do I prove who I am?

Snapy Sales Jedi: Don’t worry I have determined that using the force.

Me: Cheers. Oh surely this is too good an offer to be given out for nothing. Surely I owe you some money.

Snapy Sales Jedi: That will be £30 on the early adoption scheme.

Me: Here take £180 I’m sure it will be worth every penny to have my indentity raped from me, store, lost, and used against me for no apparent reason at some point of indeterminant time in the future.

By: Aaron Murin-Heath

Aaron Murin-Heath — Thu, 07 May 2009 09:12:32 +0000

Where do I sign up?

One of the things on my list of “things to do before I die” is to be followed by black helicopters. Seems like a great place to start.