Mother always said, “If you’ve got nothing nice to say, shut it.”
Bosses have repeatedly said, “If you’ve got nothing constructive to contribute, perhaps you should focus your organisational efforts on a step-change to the coffee machine moving forward, releasing the locked synergies of potential for everyone else”
And, as the local Lib Dems say, “Blogging? What sort of southern woofter rubbish is that? Writing? Oh, la de dar! Hark at you! Now, I don’t care about your blogganing, or your fancy schmansy writing or whatever it is you do to waste your time: Here’s 100 Focus leaflets – make yourself useful or get t’fuck.”
In other words, please forgive me, but I’m just going to leave the crazies to it and concentrate on important things like exactly how long should you leave bread under a grill to make the perfect toast, or, seriously, why do I keep drinking tea even though I’m mildly allergic to milk?
I mean, what with two women falling foul of the Guild Of Professional Childminders (after all, what IS the point of putting extreme barriers to entry for a job that virtually everyone’s capable of doing if you don’t crush people who just ignore your poxy, stupid, ridiculous rules, and treat you with the respect you deserve?), and with the Government trying to get people sectioned based on the opinion of just one doctor, you’d really think people had better things to talk about, wouldn’t you?
I know, I know. We’re all hoping to catch a glimpse of Gordon quietly sobbing to himself, or a photo of Mandelson rubbing his hands together, Dastardly style and no doubt David Milliband’s hotel is being camped by photographers offering free bananas… but really, look, it’s a desperately sad time for them and I think it’s fair and proper we give them a bit of space. They’re on the Party Political equivalent of the Mother of all Whiteys, blowing chunks into the toilet, complaining about the room spinning and stubbornly refusing to be moved out of the bathroom to somewhere more appropriate for someone in their unfortunate state.
They deserve our pity, yes, but they have been smoking the ‘bong of populism’ for 10 years straight. Was bound to catch up with them eventually.
