It would be a mistake to assume that the role of Home Secretary is to.. er.. wait, what do they do again? They’re the public face of the Home Office, responsible for immigration (stopping it), citizenship (preventing it), policing and national security (pretending we have it).

It also happens to be Labour’s flagship ministry, the crucial plank of their electoral positioning – redistribution, big public sector and “in touch with” the tabloid sentiments on the subject of law and order. That’s what New Labour is all about – reconnecting with the working classes by being pants on head wibblingly mad.

Yesterday Alan Johnson, the latest in a long line of Labour MPs to turn into Authoritarian Super Cocks upon entering the Home Office, sacked an advisor for giving scientific advice which contradicted their policy goals – the goal of Looking Tough no matter how stupid, ineffective, cruel, pointless or evil those particular policies might be.

Drug Prohibition doesn’t work? Sorry, wrong answer. You’re fired. It works perfectly well when it comes to showing how tough Home Secretaries are, so sling yer ‘ook you mad man! Yes, see, the advisor is called, “Nutt” so, obviously, it’s perfectly fair to suggest that he’s a “Nutter”, a mental, and laugh at him.

I blame Dimbleby. He asked Jacqui Smith what was the point in having scientific advisors if you then ignore them – clearly someone in Number 10 nodded and agreed enthusiastically.

We’re told we shouldn’t confuse scientific advice with policy. Alan, sweetie, I promise you, it would be very difficult for anyone to confuse your policies with something suggested by anyone with a brain.