OBI-WAN:
If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
DARTH VADER:
(hoooo… haaaaaa… hoooo….. haaaaa) Are you sure, Old Man?
OBI-WAN:
Why, of course, Darth. Strike me down and…
DARTH VADER:
(hoooo… haaaaaa) It’s just… well… my Master can shoot lightning from his hands.
OBI-WAN:
Ah, well, quite. No, I mean a whole different kind of power, a power greater than anything you…
DARTH VADER:
And (hoooo haaaaaaa) he controls the entire Galaxy. He’s the Emperor of it.
OBS-WAN:
Ha! A mere trifle, my former pupil. You can’t imagine how powerful I will become if you strike me down. Really, really powerful.
DARTH VADER:
It’s just (hooo haaaa) I can imagine a lot of power, old man. If I strike you down, which, by the way, I’m definitely going to do, you’ll become a corpse.
OBI-WAN:
No Darth. I will become a spooky voice over, able to transmit my thoughts into the mind of a young boy who’s coming to destroy you. The force is strong with that one!
DARTH VADER:
(hoooo haaaaa hoooo haaaaa hoooo haaaaa) I see. I take it the rebellion aren’t able to stretch to long range radios then? You need to throw yourself at the mercy of a Sith Lord and get your ass spanked into oblivion in order to communicate helpful advice to your apprentice?
OBI-WAN:
When you put it like that.
DARTH VADER:
You didn’t think this one through did you? (hooo haaa) You are a fool, Old Man!
OBI-WAN:
Ah, but who is the greater fool? The fool, or the fool who follows him?
(DARTH VADER strikes down OBI-WAN who does not, in fact, at any point, become more powerful than DARTH VADER can possibly imagine)
With thanks to @lingmops
Leyton Jay said...
14 Dec 09 at 11:23 am
roflmao.
Excellant.
Tim Almond said...
14 Dec 09 at 11:40 am
Imperial Officer 1: “Hold your fire. There’s no life forms. It must have short-circuited.”
Imperial Officer 2: “Yeah, but we’re looking for plans which aren’t life forms”
Imperial Officer 1: “Good point. Shoot the escape pod”
THE END
Roll Credits
Joe Otten said...
14 Dec 09 at 1:13 pm
Dunno – if you offered my a superpower, I’d take putting ideas into people’s heads over wielding a shiny stick.
Constantly Furious said...
14 Dec 09 at 3:47 pm
All that asthmatic laughing (hooooo haaaaaa) is putting me off the script..
Niklas Smith said...
15 Dec 09 at 9:22 am
I’ve tried posting comments here twice but they don’t appear, what’s the problem?
Niklas Smith said...
15 Dec 09 at 9:22 am
Oh, that worked. Was it because they had a link in? (They were essentially identical.)
Charlotte Gore said...
15 Dec 09 at 9:45 am
No idea, will have a look in the spam bin when I get a minute!
Leon Greenwell said...
16 Dec 09 at 4:14 am
It’s taken me some time to get my brains anywhere near ‘atheism’
I’ve just been reading Neitzsche, his hymn to Luther’s Bible
What would he have to say about the NRSV? Arf! Arf!
“(DARTH VADER strikes down OBI-WAN who does not, in fact, at any point, become more powerful than DARTH VADER can possibly imagine)”
Is this because Grandad Obi-wan was merely deluded, or that my dodgy father’s worst private fears have been ghastily realised?
I once read a poem to the (supernatural) ‘Angel of the Revolution’ -author? One JV Stalin
Letters From A Tory said...
16 Dec 09 at 9:36 am
I don’t know why, but I was half expecting Darth Vader to announce that he had saved the world and that Obi-Wan was only interested in protecting the interests of his Jedi buddies, who he went to school with, rather than care about the rest of the population.
Weird….
Charlotte Gore said...
16 Dec 09 at 9:52 am
Bah, it’s Christmas, who needs politics?
Greig said...
17 Dec 09 at 4:56 am
“The comrades don’t believe in angels.” J. Stalin
Sort of.
Leon Greenwell said...
17 Dec 09 at 10:44 am
Greig:-
Jusuf Visarionavich did pass his first year at Tiflis Seminary!
I couldnt find the poem last time I looked -a pity
The best way I’ve heard of looking at it is that there are atheists and there are stupidatheists
Damien McBride said...
18 Dec 09 at 2:49 pm
It is time for a duck version.
http://www.firebox.com/product/1539/Pond-Wars-Ducks?aff=512
Since I was fired by Gordon, I’ve taken to spamming blogs trying to sell plastic novelties.
Damien
Leon Greenwell said...
18 Dec 09 at 3:57 pm
Damien
Fired by Gordon?
Though I admire your enterprise, you won’t get very far with that – follow your own link!
Jack Hughes said...
18 Dec 09 at 7:24 pm
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Larry Linux on Crack said...
22 Dec 09 at 7:59 pm
“Sorry, this product is not available.”
It is like a Brit helicopter in Afghanistan. A good idea to buy one or two, but sadly a bit difficult to nail down with ye olde debit card.
Maybe our boys can lend you a few.
If you have any lettuce for our FOB subway restaurants, the metal box style of thing (we don’t use them just for torturing prisoners) – then a few whirly-birds, would be a small price to pay.
You tea-drinkers have a good one.
LLoC
angela said...
30 Dec 09 at 7:12 pm
Don’t make me destroy you!
Luke! I am….. your father!!!!! HUGE DRAMATIC MOMENT.
I love hammy dialogue. In the Twilight movie, RPatz says… “I’m a killer, Bella!” Who wouldn’t want a boyfriend like that?
Leon Greenwell said...
30 Dec 09 at 7:15 pm
Me
Henry North London said...
14 Jan 10 at 7:13 pm
But there was no corpse He became one with the force,….