It seems Nick Clegg has, at last, been a bit more specific about what he means when he says, in the event of a hung parliament, the party with the “Biggest Mandate” has the first dibs on trying to form a Government.

You’d think such questions would be straightforward, but no: Did he mean seats or votes? ‘Votes’ would suggest the Conservatives, ‘Seats’ would suggest Labour.

So finally we have the answer, and what a Lib Dem-esque answer it is, too: “Biggest mandate” means highest votes AND seats.

What this means is that if Labour comes third in the popular vote, but wins the most seats, that won’t count. This is good news, I think, and could rule out a Liberal Labour coalition unless Labour are somehow able to show even the smallest hint of returning to the ferocious and relentless election winning machine of old.

It doesn’t seem likely. There’s really not that long to go now (you’ll be relieved to hear), and Labour seems to have literally abandoned all hope. Yesterday’s frankly cringeworthy Elvis stunt (their Elvis impersonator sang, “A little less conversation, A little more action please” without any hint of irony) may prove to be surprisingly apt:

Labour, it seems, is going to die sat on a toilet with its pants round its ankles, blowing a blood vessel trying to poo out a stubborn, rock like turd that’s been lodged up their colon for the last few years: Gordon Brown.