The tyranny of pedestrian restrictions is getting me down. Sure you get pedestrian crossings absolutely everywhere – they’re on the end of every single road, mocking you, laughing at you – but the down side is that you HAVE to use them.
They really don’t like you just crossing a road because it happens to be safe. In fact it’s a crime. It’s called Jay Walking and it’s one of those crimes that exists purely because some utter arsehat decided that FromNowOnPedestriansWillDoThisOrElse and that’s pretty much all there is to it. No wonder people drive everywhere.
However, the sinister nature of tyrannical pedestrianism is nothing compared with the eerie phenomenon that is People Actually Pressing The Stop Button On Buses And Waiting For The Bus To Stop Before Standing Up.
I mean, for reals? Apparently so. People round here are strangely well behaved, following rules and regulations of which public life seems strangely full of. There’s precious few smokers (speaking of which, I’m not one of them) and…. there’s no teenagers. Or, at least, they’re impossible to spot because they’re indistinguishable from children or adults, or hiding in a special death camp of some kind. I can’t tell you how bloody nice it is.
I’m missing pies, decent beer, Tea and my stuff and life…. mostly I’m missing proper broadband though. Oh, I miss my car… I really really miss my shitty hairdresser’s car. I even miss Enemy Cat, the fat bloated feline menace belonging to a neighbour that believes my car is some sort of cool hangout party place for cats. No, wait, I don’t miss Enemy Cat. I miss squirting Enemy Cat with the Super Soaker, the little shit.
What I’m not missing is the yobbery and the palpable air of menace that I normally have from home. I hate to say it but it’s just possible that there’s something not quite right with the UK, that it’s… actually… you know, a bit more horrible than it actually should be? Maybe? Or maybe Boston’s just weird and just happens to be a really nice place to live… stranger things, etc.
Sorry, did I say nice? I meant nice except for the pedestrian crossing tyranny, obviously. Bastards.
