So in the office we use a collectivist method of solving the hot beverage allocation problem. In other words, we do brew rounds, or tea rounds. Rather than get your own drink when you want one, we must make a drink for everyone else in the office who wants one, and we take turns on a round robin basis.

I’ve been mulling on this pretty much all year, because I hate it. I really really hate it. I’m told I’m not really a ‘team player’ – which is certainly true in respect of the brew rounds, but I’ve been doing my bit regardless for the sake of a peaceful life.

Today, however, I decided to put this question to the Internet: Is this the best way of solving the beverage allocation problem, or would it be better to switch to an individualist, ‘help yourself when you want one’ approach?

Here’s my argument in favour of the latter: Everyone requires and wants different quantities of tea and coffee through the day. Some will want just one or two cups, others (tea based lifeforms like me) will want one at least once an hour.

Under an individualist system, each person simply makes a drink for themselves when they need one – this means that supply always matches the demand exactly, and everyone’s happy.

My argument against the collectivist approach is nearly the opposite of this – supply does not match with demand, and because making a round of brews is a more onerous task than making a single brew, people tend to be less keen on doing their round when it’s their turn. The result is that supply does not meet the demand, because those with a higher demand for tea either have to do additional brew rounds when it’s not their turn, or wait until the person whose turn it is is ready to make one.

On the face of it, it seems that on economic grounds the individualist approach is the way to go, yet brew rounds are annoying popular in offices.. why?

Now my housemate’s office does brew rounds – they’ve come up with clever ways of deciding who has to make the brews, yet their system is significantly more authoritarian – they spin a wheel, and the person decreed as having the ‘du-tea’ must immediately make a brew round. It’s done in a very friendly and funny way, but it’s still more authoritarian than our system because the decision about when to make a brew is taken away from the person whose turn it is. This means that, in effect, their system creates an over-supply of tea, so is wasteful and inefficient.

Now, what I really hate the most about collectivist tea making is the inability to make a brew for yourself when it’s not your turn, but you just really want a cup of tea. This happens to me more often than I care to think about. This is, perhaps, why I dislike the system. Those who get more tea from the system than they could ever be bothered to make on their own, however, value it immensely.

Right, gasping for a cuppa now. Going to put the kettle on…